Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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