So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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