he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize