idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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