Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Randomize
