do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
