you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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