i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
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Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
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Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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