if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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