Don't you send me to vm
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
