ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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