I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
