I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
