This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
