He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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