sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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