Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
