...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
