I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
