So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
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