can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
