Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
