So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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