I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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