Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
