Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
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My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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