you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
