Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
