Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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