He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
