he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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