I will die if light touches me.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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