My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
