"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
