he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
