there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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