PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
