Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
BRING THE BAGELS
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize