I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize