even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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