But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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