I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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