While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
