we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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