we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
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Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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