i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
