We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize