I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
