In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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