He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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