We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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