Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
