when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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