I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize